The Perks of Being a Wallflower

by Annick

There are two types of writing that I like the most.

The first is a very detailed and descriptive account. One that spurs my imagination, those that take me to places I can only dream of going and encountering events that would never have happened to me in real life – the prose that caters to my sense of adventure.

The other is a painfully honest piece, eloquently expressing the words I couldn’t find when I was feeling the same way as the character does in the story. These help me put things in perspective, and I learn a lot of valuable lessons from understanding it better.

The former is an accurate explanation of why I love reading Fantasy and Adventure novels. The latter is an illustration of my thoughts and emotions. And Stephen Chbosky’s The Perks of Being a Wallflower, I realized, has painted the whole picture.

I’d like to think that Charlie, the protagonist, is like me on the outside: shy and socially awkward. But he is a person who I only wish I was in the inside: reflective and intelligent. The saying “There is more to him than what meets the eye” is personified in him. In the novel, Charlie narrates the confusing and emotionally draining experience that is growing-up. From the eyes of a wallflower, the story shows the every day experiences of people: conflicts between family, the comfort and reassurance of friends, the paradox of wanting to stand out and be the same as everyone else, the pain of unrequited love, the confusing world of relationships, the memories buried in the subconscious, and the consuming loneliness of thoughts. Yet at the same time, the novel shows a different perspective of life – one that is more conscious of every action. Charlie’s thoughts consume him, and instead of living his life, he just watches idly in the background and reflects. It shows that sometimes, the price of understanding is at the cost of experiencing.

“Do you always think this much, Charlie?”

“Is that bad?” I just wanted someone to tell me the truth.

“Not necessarily. It’s just that sometimes people use thought not to participate in life.”

“Is that bad?”

“Yes.”

The honesty of this book moves me. The seemingly plot-less journey of the characters made the story become a realistic depiction. I think fiction is at its finest when it’s either vividly imagined or believably true. Usually I’d describe a page-turner as an engrossing, fast-paced story that gives a need to know what happens in the end, but Perks is one in its own merit. I found it hard to put it down because the simplicity and articulacy of Charlie’s thoughts drew me to my own. The heart of The Perks of Being a Wallflower is its sensitivity. And in that sense, I guess there’s a feeling of affinity between every person and Charlie. It made me realize that you don’t need to have a similar perspective in life to share an identical experience and to react the same way. It’s a great and inspiring book to read especially for those who are seemingly ‘lost’ and feeling unappreciated. Though I think this is not a ‘feel-good’ book, I would read it over and over as a reminder to not just feel, not just think, but also act. Do something in your life. Be someone.

Here are some of the quotations/passages in the book that I really love. I also wrote the page number, taken from this copy:

26 I look at people holding hands in the hallways, and I try to think about how it all works. At the school dances, I sit in the background, and I tap my toe, and I wonder how many couples will dance to “their song.” In the hallways, I see girls wearing the guys’ jackets, and I think about the idea of property. And I wonder if anyone is really happy. I hope they are. I really hope they are.

27 “Charlie, we accept the love we think we deserve.” – Bill

42 And in that moment, I swear we were infinite.

52 I just think it’s bad when a boy looks at a girl and thinks the way he sees the girl is better than the girl actually is. And I think it’s bad when the most honest way a boy can look at a girl is through a camera.

54-55 Personally, I like to think that my brother is having a college experience like they do in the movies. I don’t mean the big fraternity party kind of movie. More like the movie where the guy meets a smart girl who wears a lot of sweaters and drinks cocoa. They talk about books and issues and kiss in the rain. I think something like that would be very good for him, especially if the girl were unconventionally beautiful.  They are the best kind of girls, I think. I personally find “supermodels” strange. I don’t know why this is.

60 I am very interested and fascinated by how everyone loves each other, but no one really likes each other. [About Families]

71-72 I think it was the first time in my life I ever felt like I look “good.” Do you know what I mean? That nice feeling where you look in the mirror, and your hair’s right for the first time in your life? I don’t think we should base so much on weight, muscles, and a good hair day, but when it happens, it’s nice. It really is.

73 Inside the card, I told Sam that the present I gave her was given to me by my Aunt Helen. It was an old 45 record that had the Beatles’ song “Something.” I used to listen to it all the time when I was little and thinking about grown-up things.  I would go to my bedroom window and stare at my reflection in the glass and the trees behind it and just listen to the song for hours. I decided then that when I met someone I thought was as beautiful as the song, I should give it to that person. And I didn’t mean beautiful on the outside. I meant beautiful in all ways. So, I was giving it to Sam.

75 And she kissed me. It was the kind of kiss that I could never tell my friends about out loud. It was the kind of kiss that made me know that I was never so happy in my whole life.

100 I don’t know if you’ve ever felt like that. That you wanted to sleep for a thousand years. Or just not exist. Or just not be aware that you do exist. Or something like that. I think wanting that is very morbid, but I want it when I get like this.  That’s why I’m trying not to think. I just want it all to stop spinning.

101 Sometimes, I look outside, and think that a lot of other people have seen this snow before. Just like I think that a lot of other people have read those books before. And listened to those songs.

149 I just wish that God or my parents or Sam or my sister or someone would just tell me what’s wrong with me.  Just tell me how to be different in a way that makes sense. To make this all go away. And disappear. I know that’s wrong because it’s my responsibility, and I know that things get worse before they get better because that’s what my psychiatrist says, but this is a worse that feels too big.

153 To tell you the truth, I’ve just been avoiding everything. I walk around the school hallways and look at the people.  I look at the teachers and wonder why they’re here.  If they like their jobs.  Or us.  And I wonder how smart they were when they were fifteen.  Not in a mean way.  In a curious way.  It’s like looking at all the students and wondering who’s had their heart broken that day, and how they are able to cope with having three quizzes and a book report on top of that.  Or wondering who did the heart breaking.  And wondering why.  Especially since I know that if they went to another school, the person who had their heart broken would have had their heart broken by somebody else, so why does it have to be so personal?

156 But because things change.  And friends leave.  And life doesn’t stop for anybody.

182 “I would die for you.  But I won’t live for you.” Something like that. I think the idea is that every person has to live for his or her own life and then make the choice to share it with other people.  Maybe that is what makes people “participate.” I’m not really certain.

195-196 When I was driving home, I just thought about the word “special.” And I thought the last person who said that about me was my aunt Helen.  I was very grateful to have heard it again.  Because I guess we all forget sometimes.  And I think everyone is special in their own way.  I really do.

213 In the silence, I remembered this one time that I never told anybody about. The time we were walking. Just the three of us. And I was in the middle.  I don’t remember where we were walking to or where we were walking from.  I don’t even remember the season. I just remember walking between them and feeling for the first time that I belonged somewhere.

214 “It’s great that you can listen and be a shoulder to someone, but what about when someone doesn’t need a shoulder.  What if they need the arms or something like that? You can’t just sit there and put everybody’s lives ahead of yours and think that counts as love.  You just can’t.  You have to do things.” – Sam

216 “It’s just that I don’t want to be somebody’s crush.  If somebody likes me, I want them to like the real me, not what they think I am.  And I don’t want them to carry it around inside.  I want them to show me, so I can feel it, too.  I want them to be able to do whatever they want around me.  And if they do something I don’t like, I’ll tell them.” – Sam

228 So, I guess we are who we are for a lot of reasons.  And maybe we’ll never know most of them.  But even if we don’t have the power to choose where we come from, we can still choose where we go from there.  We can still do things.  And we can try to feel okay about them.

229 I think that if I ever have kids, and they are upset, I won’t tell them that people are starving in China or anything like that because it wouldn’t change the fact that they were upset.  And even if somebody else has it much worse, that doesn’t really change the fact that you have what you have. Good and bad.

231 Please believe that things are good with me, and even when they’re not, they will be soon enough. And I will believe the same about you. Love always, Charlie

Enjoy.